Saturday, May 14, 2011

Apologies

I've just been reviewing Randy Pausch's book, "The Last Lecture" (again)...so much truth and just good meaningful advice packed into a tiny book.  One thing that sticks in my mind today is his discussion about apologies.  He states that "half-hearted or insincere apologies are often worse than not apologizing at all because recipients find them insulting.  If you've done something wrong in your dealings with another person, it's as if there's an infection in your relationship.  A good apology is like an antibiotic; a bad apology is like rubbing salt in the wound."  


Description of two classic bad apologies: 
1)  "I'm sorry you feel hurt by what I've done."  
      Usually an insincere, feeble attempt!
2)  "I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you've done."   
      You're really asking for an apology rather than giving one!


Then he goes on to say that proper apologies have three parts:  
1) "What I did was wrong."  
2) "I feel badly that I hurt you."  
3) "How do I make this better?"  


Who needs to receive a sincere, heartfelt apology from YOU today?




( © Post and photo by C.J. - please do not copy)

(Quotes from "The Last Lecture" by Randy Paush 2008, Hyperion, New York)