Thursday, March 27, 2014


"I don't recall anyone ever saying that life is or would be easy; 
 if they said it, they were either delusional or they lied. "   ~C.J.

(Post by C.J. - please do not copy or use without permission)

Why I Dread Questions and Avoid Conversation...

"I learn something new every day.  And forget five other things forever." 

This quote is from a poster I saw recently and it is so true for me, except now I quickly forget the "new" thing as well!  Brain fog, along with short-term and long-term memory loss, is one of the most frustrating problems for me, especially when attempting to interact or carry on a conversation.  It's all related to my difficulty in keeping up with the flow of conversation and "information in" versus slowed integration and processing of information by my brain, speech difficulty and hesitation, word-finding difficulty, and not being able to remember what was just said.  It all stresses me out and it brings me further down when friends and loved ones give me that "look" and impatiently say things like "I just told you that!", "Oh, you have to remember her/him/that!", "How could you forget_ _ _?!", "You have to know took that class!", etc. etc. etc.

I wonder how much of this is caused by the MS, thyroid disease, other autoimmune diseases, normal aging process, hormonal or chemical imbalances, unknowns???

I tell you these things, NOT because I'm looking for sympathy or pity; I'm simply trying to make you aware and help you to understand what's happening, why I am the way I am and do the things I do...

(copyright  Posts and photo by C.J. - please do not copy or use without permission) 

Monday, January 6, 2014

The Uncomfortable Silence...

Why do I so often choose to just sit on the sidelines and be non-communicative?  

I am tired of trying to "play the game"...because I can't keep up with the ever-changing "rules"...and because I find it difficult to make small talk about things that are of little consequence when the things that should be discussed and known and shared are "off-limits".  

Therefore, like the hushed silence of a new-fallen snow that blankets everything in sight, I remain silent...

(Post and photo by C.J. - please do not copy)

Saturday, September 21, 2013

On a cloudy morn, Moments before Sunrise (Saturday, September 21, 2013)...

"Even when we don't see it, just as the sky is bathed in glorious colors in the moments before Sunrise, so we are often gifted with undeserved blessings that we aren't even aware of..." ~C.J.

 (Post and photo by C.J. - please do not copy)

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


"Let go.  Give it up.  You can not control another person...their thoughts, feelings, emotions, behaviors, actions...and you may have little control over your own feelings and emotions...but what you can control is your own reaction and response to people and situations, your choice of words and comments, your level of interaction, and the kind of personal relationship you will have with others." ~C.J.

(Post and Photo by C.J. - please do not copy)