0400

It's four in the morning.  I've been up for awhile and  I'm sitting in my living room, savoring a cup of hot coffee and the total silence and peaceful stillness of the hour.  My time.  No noise, no chores, no errands, no running, no one pulling me in ten different directions at once.   Oh, how I cherish these moments of just BEING, and not doing....I know I am still alive...and I know the chaos will begin again much too soon...

( © Post and photo by C.J. - please do not copy)

Mother's Day ~ May 8, 2011

On this day devoted to mothers
I always feel so inadequate -
questioning myself 
and my "skills" at mothering.


I remember the times I was impatient,
the times I cried,
the times I raised my voice,
the times I didn't seem to have enough time.


Did I make you feel loved?
Did I tell you often enough that I love you?
Did I hug you and show you enough physical affection?
Did I give enough comfort and reassurance when it was needed?


Did I teach you enough "survival" skills?
Was I clear in my instructions on how to stay healthy,
how to treat yourself when sick or injured,
how to keep yourself, your environment, your clothes clean?


Did I listen enough
when you had questions 
or were confused
or didn't understand?


Was I successful in teaching you
that people and relationships
are much more important than material things,
and that love is the greatest force on earth?


Did I stress often enough 
that no one person is better or worse than another,
and it's okay to hate behaviors and actions
but not people?


Was I clear enough in telling you
the importance of being friendly towards everyone,
but that you need to choose wisely
those who will be your close friends and companions?


Did I teach you enough about the value and importance
of being honest and truthful,
kind and considerate,
and respectful and helpful to others?


Do you know that I love you unconditionally,
would do anything to help and protect you,
I would defend you against all
and even give my own life for you?


Do you fully understand what I've told you before - 
The things I want most for you is to be healthy and happy,
to be successful at whatever you choose to do,
and find someone who will love, honor, and cherish you?


But most of all, I pray that through my example,
and by taking you with me to Sunday School and church,
you know that there is only One who loves you more than I
and your life is complete when you follow Him.


I love you, my sons!  I am very proud of  you and I do thank God that He chose me to be your Mom!  

( © Post and photo by C.J. - please do not copy)

My Morning Prayer...

(I snapped this photo as I was going down the interstate at 70 mph)

Lord,  you are not some god I keep in my pocket
to touch for good luck
and speak to only when I need help in times of trouble
or bring out to try to convince myself that I am better than others.


You are my constant companion
day and night,
during good times and bad,
in times of celebration or mourning.


Through our daily conversations
and times of quiet reflection,
we have become so close
I can't even begin to imagine my life without You.


You are so many things to me -
My Savior, My Lord, My Father,
My King, My Rock, My Shelter,
My Strength, My Hope, My Healer. 


I am amazed by You
and the way my eyes have become Your eyes,
seeing the world you created
and all people in a whole new way.


The way you have taken my thoughts
and replaced them with Yours
is something I don't understand
but am so thankful for.


I could never have imagined
how you could take my heart
and fill it with so much love, mercy and compassion
that there would be no room for hatred, bitterness, or unforgiveness.


When others say to me
"I don't know how you do it."
I'm truly sincere when I tell them that
the words and responses are not my own, but Yours.


You've brought peace
during turbulent times in my life,
Light when there was darkness,
and Hope when all hope seemed lost.


I believe You
when you say You will never leave me nor forsake me,
and I know that as long as I walk and talk with You
I have nothing and no one to fear.


You are the Beginning and the End!
There is no other like you.
I love You, I adore You, I worship You, I praise You
for Who You Are.


Let my life be Yours.
May I see with Your eyes and hear with Your ears,
walk with Your feet, work with Your hands,
and let my voice be Your voice.


When others see me,
cover and hide my faults and imperfections
and everything that is not of You,
and just let them see You, Jesus!


All glory and honor and praise be to You, my Lord!  Amen.

( © Post and photo by C.J. - please do not copy)

Who Would Know? (for "S")

Who would know?
She, the one who always seems to be smiling...
the one whose hearty laugh is so infectious...
the one always offering others a shoulder to lean on...


Who would know?
She, who has kept so much pain buried deep inside...
early memories of feeling "never good enough"...
the object of cruelty and harsh words...


Who would know?
She would be so close to the mom and dad
whose expectations she felt she could never meet...
caring for and loving them both to their last breath on earth...


Who would know?
She, who thought she had found the love of her life...
after 30 years of dreaming, building, and living as a couple...
would be betrayed by that one person she thought she could always trust...


Who would know?
Only those who really know her...
Who catch a glimpse of a tear or the pain in her eyes...
would know that all the wounds are very slowly healing...


Who would know?
She, after all that she has gone through...
is even stronger, more confident, more loving,
and always ready to lend a hand or defend another...


Who would know?
Shelia, who is always smiling, laughing, and participating in life...
who has more friends than she's ever had before...
She knows...that with family, friends, and God, she's doing better than ever...


And she knows...she's going to make it!

( © Post and photos by C.J. - please do not copy)

Today...

Regardless of the circumstances and yesterday's events, 


Today ~
     The world turns
          The sun rises
               The birds sing
                    A new day is born
     And life...
                   goes...
                             on...

( © Post and photos by C.J. - please do not copy)