One year ago today, on February 14, 2013...
I came face-to-face with the Heart of God...
And the reality of this quickly fleeting thing called Life.
The days leading up to that day were a blur...
But at this hour I was waiting...
And I realized just how little control I have...
Going through the formalities and paperwork...
Preparing to put my physical life in the hands of strangers...
I suddenly found a strange Peace come over me...
As I realized that HE had and always had
my fragile and sometimes crazy Life in His hands...
The One who spoke me into existence...
The One who knows my purpose...
The One who has always been by my side...
even the times I've felt totally alone...
The One who accepts, forgives, and loves ME...
I'm not saying that I wasn't still afraid...
But I felt His Love in the family who was by my side...
Through the thoughts and prayers of others who cared...
And when I was being prepped in the operating room
and I was so cold and in pain from complications
of the many attempts for them to insert an arterial line...
I felt His Love through the touch of the neurosurgeon
who, although I couldn't see, came up behind my head
while I was lying on the table, strapped down...
as he gently wiped my tears away and held my head in his hands...
and quietly said "It's okay"...and then told them to give me IV meds
to help me to sleep and to forget all the pain and anxiety...
His touch and his voice were the last things I remember
until after the many hours of surgery.
My God is amazing...
He loves me with an everlasting love...
And although it has been, and still is, a long healing process...
He shows me every day, in small and big ways...
how high, how wide, and how deep is His Love for me...
and I know that I belong to Him...
He has my Heart...
and I am filled with Love, and Awe, and Appreciation...
because I know that I know that I know...
He...Loves...Me. ~C.J.
(Post by C.J. - please do not copy or share without permission)
